Just another human
by Black starry dragco
Summary: "You don't know me at all but yet..." ONESHOT
1. Chapter 1

Cold but warm that what I would say. Somehow it's like floating in the air but yet, it also felt like being merged with water. My eyes were quite heavy as I open them. The first thing I saw was blue. The shades of blue danced front of me, mixing in with red. It was strange. Bright red steeped into color of blue. Watching color of red twisted and swirled like a heavy smoke in air. Red spreaded as my body became heavy with burden. Sharp pain throbbed inside my head. My vision became blurry while I'm developed into dark red world. Suddenly, I heard somebody screaming. It's sounded like that person was crying too. I don't understand, why is that person crying and screaming?

"Nooo..no.. Please!"

_'What? Please what?' _

Damn, I need to ask but it seem like I can't speak. Shit, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I'm being suffocated by something. Why the hell can't I fucking move?! Great, my vision turning into black. I tried to move but my limbs won't move. What is going on? My world turned into black and slowly, the light shined. The lids of my eyes sliding close as the memories flowed into me.

_"You don't know me at all but yet, I've been discounted." I whispered. _

_Looking at the mirror as I bitterly laughed at my pathetic self. Left bruised cheek reddened then turning into light shade of purple. Right eye was swollen shut. Lips were busted. My white t-shirt was ripped and covered with my dried blood. My arms were bruised. White lines on my arms was visible to eye, along with new cuts. Red circle under my eyes showed that I have been crying for while. I looked like shit. _

_"Look at me, I have become nobody. Just nothing." _

_I whimpered in pain. Seventeen years of my life. Those years mean nothing to me because they all are the same. Painful memories and people who broke my trust. They used me. They picked me apart to their own sick sense of amusement. They bulid me up then tear me apart. My own parents didn't even love me. And 'he' walked out on me. I don't think people would cared if I die or not. At least, I don't deal it anymore if I take this life of mine._

_"You pretend that I don't exist and I'll go away."_

_But yet, I find.. _

_"But I don't. I persist. I am still here."_

_My beloved. My best friend. That person was meant a world to me. She was beautiful. Her golden hair shined like golden treasure while her brown eyes were mesmerizing. Because of her, I am still alive._

_"I hoping your warmth."_

_Her smile, laugh, and everything about her make me want to kiss her, hold her, and make her mine. That's right. I love you more anything._

_"Will all ebb away, soon?"_

_I was simply walking on lonely street then suddenly, someone b__umped to me. You knocked me down. I cried out in pain. You looked at me in surprise and quickly apologized. The moment that I saw your chocolate brown eyes and your cheesy smile, I fell for you. From that day, you were always there. You were everywhere. My love for you grew everyday._

_"Just talk to me."_

_That is what you said. Fear grew inside me. I don't want you to know. Please just leave it to be. I don't want you to see this side of me. So I pushed you away. I hurted you. You cried and told me that you never want to see me again. I'm just a coward. I'm not a hero. I'm just a stupid teenager. _

_"I exist."_

_My existence is nothing without you._

_"I am."_

_I watched you as you slowly disappear from my life. You smiled with others. You weren't by my side anymore. So I cut. I picked myself apart. I'm my own destruction. I'm dying again._

_"Love me."_

_You smiled at me and told that you loved me. Then I woke. _

_"Hate me." _

_You screamed at me and told me that you definitely think that I deserve the guilt for everything I have done._

_"It's doesn't matter."_

_That's what I would said. Because no matter what, I will always love you. So that's why I'm here. To say my last goodbye to you, I gave you my last words. So here I am. Drowning in endless blue. As the water makes it way to my lungs, I bled. Mixing my blood in blue. Fitting for me, right? _

_"Just don't ignore me. I'm just another human."_

_I thought you would be glad but yet, here you are..._

* * *

_**~Hi, Everyone!~**_

_**I hope you like it. Somehow I feel like I need to write something angst because Chapter 414. I was so sad that INGEEL DIED. *Sobs* Anyway, if you like it and want me to write more then that's fine. Please review and feedback about this and my other stories :)**_

_**Love, **_

_**Author.**_


	2. Chapter 2

I never felt so much hurt before. It was like I am dying. I was just screaming and crying because I know... I know that this was my fault. My best friend tried to kill himself. He just.. _My_ best friend cutted his own wirst as he drowns himself. That moment when he fell into water, I immediately dove into water to pull him out. I swam deep in water. My limbs burned. Vision became blurry because of salty water and large amount of blood. When I saw him, I grabbed his arm. I put his arm around my neck. Dragging him with me as I pushed myself to limit to get to the surface. Reaching to surface, Gray's hand had gripped my hand and pulled both of us out. Breathing heavily, I looked over. He looked so peaceful. It strucked me hard. Tears started to poured on my face. I don't want to lose him.

"Nooo..no.. Please!" I cried.

I held out my shaky hand to touch him. My finger tips brushed his cheek then I started to caress it. He was cold. He was not supposed to be cold. It doesn't suit him. He supposed to be warm. He supposed to be warm like his fiery personality and hothead like he is.

"Please don't leave me. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry...I..."

_"Hey, what do you think you are doing?!" I shrieked as I pushed him out of my bedroom. He pouted as he wined, __"That's no fair! I'm your bestie, Lucy. Why can't I be in your room?" _

_"T-That's b-because you are boy and I am a girl!" I sputtered, blushing furiously._

_"Oh? Are you still upset about that? Come on. I seen you naked many times. It's nothing new." He nonchalantly said._

_I glared at him, efficiently shutting him up. He nervously flashed her a grin as he mumbled an apology._

_"GET. OUT."_

_"Okay!Okay! I'm leaving!" _

_I close the door as he left. I let out a breath of relief. I just can't believe him. Does he has no sense of boundaries? I huffed as I changed my clothes. I looked at mirror while I put my hair up. My mind drifted to the incident that happened about two days ago. It was strange. I noticed that he doesn't like talk about his past. That day was the day that I asked about his childhood but he purposelly changed the subject. It brothered me. He basically knew everything about me but I don't. Also I heard the rumors that he used to be antisocial and cold person but I refused to believe it. It's no way that my sweet, lovable best friend used to be like that._

_ Today, I have decided to ask him about it. I double checked my clothing and make up then I walked out of my room. I caught my best friend lazly sitting on redish couch, watching news. My lips twitched little bit. He looked over his shoulder, smiling at me. My heart absolutely melted. _

_"Um-m.. Natsu. I wanted to talk you about something." I shyly smiled as his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion._

_"Uh.. Sure. What do you wanna talk about ?" He shrugged. _

_"Natsu.. Why aren't you telling me about your past?"_

_Slience ringed out through my apartment. It was painful. I didn't think it would be like this. I was expecting like, 'what? What you are talking about?' Or something like that. But he just had this blank look on his face. The sickening feeling churned in my stomach. I open my mouth to apologize but I was cut off by his icy tone. _

_"It's none of your business."_

_I stared at him in shock. However, somehow I was pissed at him. I snapped._

_" Why? What are you so afraid of?! I'm your best friend! I promise that I won't judge you. If you are in trouble then just tell me. I will do whatever it's takes. Just talk to me." _

_That was the moment I realized it was the mistake. I shouldn't have done that. I saw the fear and hurt in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry. His lips quivered as he spoke._

_" I'm going to home. Bye." _

_The slam of my front door echoed. _

_For weeks, we didn't talk. We avoided each other. The only time that I see him is in school halls. We would pass by each other, then I would pretend that I didn't see him. I would act like I was happy. In reality, I was heartbroken. _

_Weeks turn into months. We were slowly dirfting away from each other. I learned to hide the hurt but one day, he came up to me. It was morning and I was getting ready for classes. When I saw him, I was surprised by his appearance. He was a mess. He looked like he had lost a lot of weight. There were black bags under his eyes. He wore black sweater with the scarf around his neck and baggy blue jeans. His eyes connected with mine. I swallowed. He came closer to me. _

_"Hey, Lucy." He said._

_I didn't said anything but he continued._

_"I wanted you to know that I'm.. Sorry." _

_Sorry? So that's what he wanted to say? I felt like I was being played. How dare he? He made me suffer for months and he dared to show his face to me now ? I completely lost it. I screamed at him. Honestly, I couldn't remember what I said. I just kept going until I was unable to use my voice anymore. _

_After that, I didn't see you in school anymore. You stop showing up at school. It's like you disappeared altogether. The dreading feeling grew each day. So I went to your apartment but you __wasn't there. I became scared. I called all my friends and your friends to come over to help. We looked for hours. Suddenly I remembered our secret place. I ran like my life depended on it. I found you standing on small hill. It was our favorite place because it's place where we can see calm, soothing lake with colorful flowers. It was supposed to be happy place for us but yet, you saw me. For first time in months __, you smiled at me. You told me that you loved me. Then.. You fell. You thought that I would be glad but yet, here I am. Screaming and crying for you because I ..._

I hated it. I'm sitting in the room where everything was white except my best friend's pink hair which stood out. Beeping sounds from the monitor and multiple IVs sticked in his body. I can feel tears coming again. Doctors said that they didn't know if he would survive. He had lost too much blood already. I reached out to touch him again. He was still cold. I am shaking. I am crying again. I put my head beside him, shifting close to him. I ran my hands through his hair. I whispered into his ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just please don't leave me. I will do anything. I..I .. I don't know what I'm gonna to do without you, Natsu." I sobbed against his sheets.

"Natsu, if you wake up then let start over. I will do it. I want to show how much I care about you. I..." I paused as my voice cracked.

_"I love you."_

I kissed him on the cheek. I was exhausted. I felt my eyes slowly close as I hold him close. Slipping into dreamworld, I felt his arm. I brushed my cheek on his skin. He feels warm. Really warm.

_Hey weirdo, I love you too. _


End file.
